8 year anniversery... my jason

8 years ago a beautiful man walked into the room and straight into my heart. 6 years ago I walked down the aisle to that beautiful man, my champion, and we became a family that day! His tenderness, openness and the strength that comes with it astounds me. With Jason, I am free to be
bring my best to our marriage because he constantly does the same. He loves so so so well.

to sum up in a quote:
"What was said to the rose that made it open was said to me here in my chest." 

6 years and 100 to go!!! I love you, Jason Gregory Manalli, with all my heart!

some thoughts on identity

some people believe that you cannot move outside of the permission of church leadership. it freezes them in their tracks and puts their dreams in a choke hold when relinquishing that much power to mere men. before you think i'm going on a bitter rant, know that i am a leader at a church.  i believe in accountability. but i am your sister, you are my brother (or sister) and church is the expression of a family in which the Lord is the head... one of the reasons why we call him PAPA! you want to know what you're capable of and what he is releasing you to do?? read the word and explore the impossibilities of Abba! he's called you to great things, to raise the dead, heal the sick, cast out demons, preach the gospel and be absolutely amazing, all for the purpose of bringing him glory! #intimacywithGod#freedom

jesus wept

i'm so moved by john 11:35, "jesus wept...." this was before he raised his friend lazarus. jesus KNEW he would raise him from the dead. yet he wept. the one who takes away the sin of the world. the one who is victorious over death... wept. my jesus feels... he sympathizes with us... he comes down to the lowly and loves so fiercely. he was not exempt of feelings and was not disturbed by emotion. he was victorious in the circumstance. but if i am to follow my jesus' example, it is that i can weep with those who weep, still knowing that the one who lives inside of me is the champion. my jesus wept.

Jason's Nazarite Vow

Today, I'm using my blog spot to post something for my hubby, Jay! It is about his nazarite vow. Here, you can read what the vow was about, what happened to him in the process and how his heart was affected by it. It's a long read, but I must say, a really good one. Posted at the bottom are some pictures of us shaving off his hair and a link to a message he shared on a sunday that is extremely powerful that encapsulates his heart, kind of like what you're about to read! I love this man and his heart after the Lord! Be blessed! 

Nazarite Vow

In early June 2011 I attended “The Call” in Wasilla Alaska.  The Call is a movement in America led by Lou Engle and his son Jesse that is rising up a generation of young people who are giving themselves to worship, fasting and prayer to Jesus to see revival come to America and abortion end in our nation.  At this event last summer I spontaneously received prayer from Lou in the worship time before the event actually started and a deposit was made into my spirit that I could not ignore.   The prayer left me marked by a man given to a lifestyle of prayer and fasting and his prayers over me compelled me to want to know Jesus even more.  Everything in me needed to respond to the prompting of the spirit to consecrate myself for a season in a demonstration of sacrifice and obedience.  Truth be told, I didn’t completely know what I was doing when I began.  I just knew that I needed to do this and that if I said yes to the Lord he would give direction and fill in the details.

The outline of the vow is found in the bible, book of Numbers, chapter 6.  Herein are the details of the vow, specifically no razor on the head, no alcohol, grapes, vinegar or any foods associated with the grapevine and no going near dead bodies.   The key point is that it’s the Lord who lights the fire for intimacy with Him but it’s up to us to keep the fire burning (Leviticus 6) and I set out on a pilgrimage to know Him in a more intimate way.   Anyone desiring to make the vow would set the time and determine how long the vow would last.  Most have varied from a few months to a few years and I was sensing that I would go for at least a year, maybe two.  I ended up going for a little over 16 months, more on that later. 

The vow itself is an act of consecration to the Lord; body soul, mind and spirit, and has with it a few outer manifestations that represent spiritual realities.  As I understand it, hair represents strength and by not cutting my hair I was declaring that my strength doesn’t come from by my own means “but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” (Deuteronomy 8:3).  I was also visibly marking myself as a set apart, consecrated one but not done out of spiritual pride; just an awareness that I am desiring to get closer to God and setting my face like flint for a season.  Grapes and alcohol represent joy, pleasure and intoxication and by abstaining from natural pleasures I was declaring that I desire my true joy come from the presence of God (Psalm 16).  Avoiding the dead and funerals was a way of stating that I was disassociating myself from anything in my life that would bring me death: relationships, habits, ambitions or anything else that would compete with the Lord for first place in my life.    

I began the vow knowing that these things really weren’t that hard for me to be devout in my devotion but the pressing in for the deeper things of the spirit became the challenge as to find out what the Lord was doing in my life through the vow.  Honestly, it was during the last month of the vow that the Lord clearly began to speak to me as to what He was after in my life.    Everything else up until then seemed to be just growing out my hair and not drinking alcohol as I was half hearted in my attempt to serve Him and fumbling my way through it most of the time, even with a profound encounter with the Lord from the beginning.   My wife would ask me occasionally why I was doing it and most times I couldn’t even give her a decent answer.  All that I knew was that I was supposed to do it.  But even in my weak and feeble efforts to be obedient to His prompting, the Lord broke through with revelation of who Jesus is and how much He loves people.  I’ll say it again: the Lord Jesus is crazy in love with people.   That might not be earth shattering to most but allow me to tell you about what He is doing to my heart and my perception of others. 

Twice in the book of Matthew, chapter 9 and 12, Jesus, in response to forgiving sin, performing miraculous healing and doing things that were unlawful in the Pharisee minds says “go learn what this means: I desire mercy not sacrifice” (Matthew 9:13).   In the past it’s a passage that I have read and glazed over with zero understanding.  I have come to understand that what Jesus is saying is this.  He isn’t saying that sacrifice isn’t important.   Mercy, love and a heart of compassion from His heart for people is what is most important.   Sacrifice in its right context is extremely valuable but in the end it’s really a vehicle to bring us closer into relationship with God by whatever means necessary, namely repentance.   

During some soaking time towards the end of my vow I was meditating on what Jesus said, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice” and He began to reveal Him self to me.  I was lying on the floor, my head was on His chest over His heart and I could hear His heart of love for people.  The sound of His love was a sonic BOOM in His chest that ripped through the earth and mountains and was impossible to ignore.   His love is way beyond what we can comprehend or contain.  I was also remembering entries from a book I’m reading by Heidi Baker, “Compelled by love”.   It’s full of stories about their ministry to the poor in and destitute in Mozambique, Africa and how the Lord is using the poor to teach her about love using the “beatitudes” as a foundation for living an authentic Christian life.  The poor are dependant naturally and spiritually at a level that most of us (namely me) never experience in life here in the west.   But when the poor encounter the love of Jesus they are never the same!   I was recounting some of the stories of love breaking through and miracles happening and as I was receiving more of His love I began to pray this grand prayer – “Lord, give me your heart for the unlovely.   Teach me how to love like that and give me your heart for the unlovely”.   I thought that I was praying according to His will until the Holy Spirit corrected/rebuked me mid-encounter, gently but firmly with these words: “There’s no such thing as unlovely”. 

I began to weep at the revelation of how He sees us through the eyes of His fierce love.  He didn’t stop speaking.  As I was coming unglued at the condition of my own heart and trying to repent and form a response, the Holy Spirit continued on.   He told me “Present condition is not the qualifier.  In the kingdom, we aren’t allowed to see with earthly eyes”.  Then He told me to read Acts 10. 

This chapter is about Peter and an encounter he has with Lord when he falls into a trance while praying.    You can read the chapter but basically the Lord is changing paradigms in Peter in what he believes about the Holy Spirit as he is poured out on the Gentiles.    In his trance he is directed by the Lord to kill and eat animals that he considered to be unclean.  He in turn basically tells the Lord that he won’t and the Lord tells him, “Don’t call anything impure that God has made clean” (vs. 9).  The Lord was confronting the religious spirit in Peter and setting him up for a personal and larger breakthrough as the Holy Spirit was about to be poured out on hungry and thirsty people who just wanted to know Jesus.  The other interesting note in the story is about Cornelius.   Here is a guy in the Italian army who is operating outside of his comfort zones by giving generously to the poor and devoting himself and his family to prayer and acts of service to the needy.  His prayers and acts grab the attention of heaven and angelic activity is released in response.    The Lord uses this man and creates seismic shifts in Peter to bring the kingdom to those who are thirsting for the presence of the living God.  Here again is an example of the heart of love and compassion for people that our heavenly Father has for all mankind that desire His face.  “I desire mercy not sacrifice”. 

I had another encounter in which I was at Matthew the tax collector’s house (scene from Matthew 9:9-10) and I was sitting across the table from Jesus.  He was sitting with His right leg crossed over His left and was casually eating and enjoying the company around the table.  In the actual story His very presence with tax collectors and sinners confused and enraged the religious minds of the day.  They couldn’t understand why He would associate with them.  In my encounter He looked at me and said, “What do you want to know”, and kept eating as we engaged each other in dialogue.   Honestly, I can’t recall anything we were discussing but after a while He leaned over to me and said “The religious mind seeks only to bring understanding.   True love for Me seeks Me for understanding.   The religious mind isn’t really interested in Me”.   He sat back in His chair, kept eating and looking at me and appeared to be completely un-offended by the religious minds trying to discredit Him.   I began to ponder what He just said and I realized that this was His sonic boom of love for people.   He has a furious love for people that’s beyond our scope of reason, even for those who completely misunderstand Him. 

The impression that I got of Jesus is this – Him standing there talking to those who only see religious activity as most important and Him saying, “All the scriptures you read and study point to Me and I’m standing right in front of you and you’re missing Me because your heart isn’t open to Me.   But that’s ok because when you desire Me I’ll be right here waiting for you and I can’t wait until you do.” 

All of this to say that what the Lord is doing in me in this season is purifying and maturing His love in me for others and removing religious mindsets from my thinking.   I believe that this is a picture of what He wants to do in the church as well but this is hitting me on a level that I’m not seeing things the way I used to (which is a good thing!).  Through this season of taking my vow what He was really revealing to me was that the point of the sacrifice was to gain more revelation of His massive heart for me and for people and how much of my thinking needed to be cleansed so I can see, hear and respond more like Jesus did.  His huge heart of love and compassion for mankind compelled everything He did from creating us in the beginning, coming to earth to redeem us back to the Father, taking on our weak frames and His ultimate demonstration of love by going to the cross for us.  His love is so complete and pure that our hearts and minds need to be renewed in order for us to continuously grow in his radical love.   Then his life and love in us can flow in a clear channel through us to others.         

Here’s a harsh reality.  If all of our sacrifice and religious activity aren’t bringing us closer in love relationship with Jesus then its just form of godliness without power, an idol that we pass off to others as holiness but blinds us from the truth of where we really are spiritually.   I functioned this way for several months without even realizing all the while wondering why my heart was lukewarm and I wasn’t seeing any fruit from my life during the season of “consecration”.  But even in the midst of my half hearted attempt to serve Him in this way He still took that ember in my heart to show me how much He loves me and wants to reveal more of Himself to me and how much He truly loves people.        

My vow lasted almost a year and a half.   Truth is I should have ended it after one year.   It was becoming religious activity to which I wasn’t even connected.   A friend of mine had a dream that I was clean shaven at the 13 month point into the vow and my wife had a dream of me clean shaven about 2 months ago (prompted by the Holy Spirit and not her desire to see me less scraggly).   Another friend on mine recently had a prophetic word for me that was right on the mark and added that he saw the Lord “cleaning” me, my face and hair.   I said to the Lord, “are you trying to tell me to end my vow”?  Duh, Jason.   “Yes” was all I heard from him.   I am a creature of routine and loyal to a fault sometimes.   The vow had become an idol and I wasn’t even aware of it.   But even in my attempt to please him and be loyal to my commitment I allowed it to become the focus instead of Him.  But even then He still busted into my heart to reveal to me one of the mysteries of his kingdom: His ferocious love for people.  

I’ve told the Lord recently that my desire is to know what is important to His heart and in exchange He can do what He wants with my life.  By this I mean that I want to be so in love and in communication with Him that I know what He’s thinking, seeing and feeling all the time so that I can arrange my life accordingly with His heart and purpose for me and those around me.  I’ve asked Him. “How far can Your kingdom reach through my life?”  The truth is we can’t want the form (religion) separate from the Man (Jesus).   I remember a quote from Bill Johnson – “Jesus, if I’m not thinking like you come and mess with me until I am.”   My desire is to have this be the posture of my heart.   He is a jealous lover.  He has no rivals and His love is transforming my life, again. 

Blessings!!

Jason Manalli

link to message, Mature Love - Jason Manalli 10/21/12

http://KCCJESUS.ORG/media.php?pageID=6

here we go!!

his ponytail! 

And here he is!! 

Burning the hair

.::tiny house::.

i have a new obsession... and i've gone through many of them... pinterest (still love it), facebook, instagram, thrifting, paleo... the list goes on and on. but the one as of late is by far my biggest obsession (for now)... tiny houses.


yes. tiny houses....

most tiny houses are generally 300-500 square feet. eeeyup. you read that right. hence the words "tiny house". the overall idea is that the carbon footprint of each person or family be reduced by living with what they only need. i can also think of many other ideas... ability to own your home outright, live outside more, save money to travel often and... they're so cute! most have loft bedrooms to make the most of the space.


i've been completely drawn in. completely! mostly by the idea to live off of only what is necessary and to find love in life by the things or people that are in our life already. it's the oldest idea ever, but i'm so fascinated by it. our society is extremely opposite. i hate being negative about things... especially on the internet. 1) because once it's out there, it's out there forever 2) people have used the net as an inappropriate platform. me included. and i try not to... i try. 3) sometimes being negative just sounds like fear. puh. but i really do feel as though society pushes for us to always have more. and i do not despise anyone that has the means to live in something grand. it's that we live beyond our means. it's that we lay so much importance on the things we have.


tiny houses is like this foreign and new idea. live life out of debt? enjoy what you have already instead of stewing about what you don't have? crazy. i didn't move into my house 2 years ago and i've found myself constantly thinking, "if we only had a garage..." "if we only had an extra room above the garage... a deck... then we can sell and get a bigger house..." God, forgive me. living in a 300-500 square foot house is not where the Lord has us right now. but just reading the concept of these houses and really the concept of how we look at the quality of life is astounding!!!

my favorite favorite favorite tiny house site. tiny house swoon is right.... enjoy:

http://tinyhouseswoon.com/tag/tiny-house-2/

and you're welcome. 

a time for singing...

the manalli house has been filling with music over the past months. and since then, i've written a song with some friends and rediscovered another one that i wrote over three years ago. thought i'd share the lyrics :)

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GOD
mariya manalli, mark and jeni davis


vs 1
you are the story of stories
you are the light that shines
you are the open door
you always blow my mind
you are the greatest mystery 
yet make it easy to find
your heart


chorus:
what a beautiful God
(4x)


vs 2
the only king that's good
the only kind that's wise
no disappointment found
only love in your eyes
your will is not to shame
but for me to find
your heart 


(chorus)


bridge: 
la la la la la you make me happy!
(repeat)


TAKE A LITTLE TIME
mariya manalli


vs 1
i keep a picture of you
in the stillness of my heart
your life, my favorite song
i know the end before it starts
within your eyes 
comes every sunrise
to you, child
i say...


chorus:
take a little time out of your day
take a little time, come away
and be with me


vs 2
all those things in your life
do they really matter now
my love is color in lifes grey
i am the quiet against the loud
and in my eyes
you're every sunrise
to you, child
i say


(chorus)

hope you enjoyed!

Dear Young Adult Burning Ones...

Dear Young Adult Burning Ones Family,

Greetings! We pray this letter finds you well and blessed! You are receiving this letter because, as many of you know, we have talked about an announcement on “change” and believe in many ways it has already taken care of itself. This past Thursday it was our desire to gather as many of you as we could into our home to share with you all face to face about what we feel is happening now and the direction that we are taking the young adult group. But as it turns out, we are writing a letter instead! It is our hope that if you have any questions, comments or concerns that you contact us through facebook, email, text, calling or talking. We want to make ourselves as accessible to all of you as possible!

Some of you have already approached us with questions asking when we were meeting. Mariya and I want to let you know that it was never our intention to mislead anyone or hide anything; we just wanted to wait for the right time and the right words to be able to express our heart. We have been and continue to be in prayer to the Lord about reshaping our lives in a way that would please Him and reflect the direction that He has for us. After much prayer, counsel from our pastors and discussion with close spiritual friends we have felt that God has impressed upon our hearts to lay down the Young Adult ministry. Leadership asked anyone over small groups to take the month of January to pray, fast and seek the Lord on whether He wanted any of us to pick up our small group again. To ease anyone’s heart or imagination, this decision is not being made because of any moral failure. It is simply an act of obedience and faith. Sometimes the Lord asks us to do things that we don’t understand. But in the end, we can look back and see purpose all over it! After wrestling with it for a season, we finally gave in after talking to our pastors and have since then felt such a mighty peace wash over us and a new sense of renewal for the season ahead.

This to us is a very good and exciting thing! Change is a chance to move, discover or rediscover! Most of this letter though, is to tell you how much this group has meant to us, how it has impacted our lives and where we believe God is taking the Manalli family to encourage you, to communicate with you and hopefully, put wind in your sails to see what new things God has in store for you!

YOUNG LEADERS OF YOUNG ADULTS

When we were asked back in 2009 to take over the Young Adult ministry, our initial reaction was to say no, because neither one of us had ever thought of becoming small group leaders. But we said that we’d pray before answering and felt a nudge in our hearts to say yes. We both had no experience in leading a group, and, in the beginning, only gathered about 8 people at a time. Sometimes it would just be us and one other person. What really started to shift things was the time we took to pray an hour before each service. Jason, Mariya and one of our base team member at the time, Gretchen Pribbenow, could feel the presence of God and His intense desire for this group. I would say in those beginning days, is where He deposited a deep heart inside us for young people. In the following months we went from a small handful of people to about 20-30 people. Worship became insanely deep, ministry time and the prophetic moved heavily, miracles happened, spiritual hunger compelled us deeper, Jason shared on intimacy, revival and identity and we saw life after life transformed! We just sat back and thought, “God, we don’t know what we’re doing, but You obviously do!”  This group not only grew the people that attended, but it grew us as well. It grew our faith level, our expectancy, our intimacy and our relationships with others. We saw an acceleration happening in Young Adults and were so excited to be a part of what our Daddy was doing. 

Even up to this point, this has probably been the most impactful area of our life. We have had the privilege of being in a lot of life changing churches and moments and experiences, but being with all of you has meant the most to us by far. There was grace when we had no idea what we were doing, there was a faith charged atmosphere every Thursday and there were relationships established!

A FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

Around the time that Abraham was born, everything seemed to come at us so fast. All good things, but all of them at one time became a little overwhelming. We were still adjusting to our new business, became new homeowners, in charge of two departments at church, part of the leadership team and now new parents. We continued to trust the Lord to carry us through and to see us through all the details, but it was soon becoming clear that we needed to look hard at where we were giving all our time and attention. Mariya’s parents move to Kodiak, Ak forced us to delve deeper in the heart of God, as we knew that alone would bring a world of new things to adjust to. This is where we began to seriously look at our lives and ask the Lord to help us prioritize.

To this day we continue to do so and are on a road to learning how to be successful at marriage and family in all ways possible!

THE CALL TO WORSHIP

First thing you should know about us, and probably do, but our hearts have always bent towards worship and prayer. To be a part of a worship movement/culture is a huge yearning of our heart. Alaska has been an open door to that cry inside us and we love leading the worship ministry at KCC. Along with leading at KCC, we’ve received invitation to minister to various places across the state. We’ve also forged amazing and unforgettable connections with amazing leaders like Sean Feucht, the Pinkstons and Jake Hamilton. International House of Prayer has contacted us with wanting to see if there is a way to come to Alaska. A house of prayer has erected here on the Peninsula. We say all this not to boast and bring attention to ourselves, but to say that we believe God wants to move over the state of Alaska now! He is turning the desire of literally nations towards this glorious state with a heart to partner with what He wants to do here! The first response is to tap into the heart of worship in the people here! There is a resounding YES in us to be a part of that in any way possible. This is where we feel the Lord is calling us to pour our singular attention to for now. One of the most amazing things to me is that almost all the members of the worship team are young adults or young people. And the ones who respond to worship nights are young people! We are all doing this together, whether you’ve seen this or not! This is where we are going. We want to invest our lives into being extravagant worshipers. Whatever that looks like. 

We also want to pour a lot of our excellence into our business and 150% of our time and attention to our family. If you think of us, please pray that God would continue to pour on grace to head into this dream!

YOU ARE

You are called to adventure in life with God! Let the Lord search your heart, get rid of anything that is contrary to what He has designed for your life and start running into the journey that God has laid out for you! Embrace change; turn your gaze even harder into the fiery love of Jesus and live to glorify the name of the Lord all the days of your life! Let’s do this together! There is an invitation into the new. If you’ve been asking Him for courage and confirmation… well… here’s your sign. J

We love you all and we carry you in our hearts forever!

Love always,

Jason and Mariya Manalli

jmmanalli@gmail.com