Since Jay and I were engaged we have purposed ourselves to find out what is most important to us so that we can build our own family culture. Well. Ok, let me back up a bit. At first, it started off as conversations at our fave coffee place. (Plug: "Pannikin Coffee and Tea" in Encinitas, CA! woot!) We'd sit across the table from one another and talk for what seemed like HOURS about what our life would be like together... building a home, building a family [insert a bunch of lame sauce "sighs" here as we dreamily looked into each others eyes]. Then it became little notes that we'd scratch on random pieces of paper that we'd stick in books that we so happened to have with us that we had planned to read later on down at the beach.
one note looked like this:
"Manalli's:.... 'Stay low (humble), stay drunk (intoxicated in the presence of God), stay in love (tender relationship with the Father and with each other)'....."
It became apparent over time that as we talked it out, verbalizing our heart, writing it down on paper, we became responsible/accountable for what we brought to the table. And in its own way, it also became liberating because we each had a common goal. A way to remind each other.
Another is what we call "face time"
It's where when we get into a disagreement, either one of us is allowed to call for "face time" if one of us feels like the disagreement is de-railing and we're no longer even trying to understand one another, and it's more like we just want to punch each other in the forehead or something... The understanding is that if one of us calls for it, we HAVE to give it. This is what it looks like:
We have to get intimately close to the other... Ok, so not all the time is it with the smile like in this picture... but it's hard to stay mad or disillusioned when you're that close. Why do we do it? Because it's important for us to start and end with truth and hold love at the highest standard, even in times we aren't seeing eye to eye.
This is what I want my son to know....
He will grow up knowing what real love looks like so that when something that is of lesser value comes along, he'll know to run from it. He'll know what it feels like to be loved because he first felt it here. At home. He will have seen it modeled and demonstrated.
I want him to know that kissing is part of daily chores. Hugging and snuggling is part of every day life for our family. That mom and dad are allowed PDA and he will be forced to watch if he wants to stay in the same room because we won't stop even if it does make him want to "throw up", ba haha!
There's a whole list of things that we have written down... But this one is the foundation: LOVE. Obviously we know we'll come up short at times. That's where Abba fills in and overtakes.
To Abe: I believe that you already know what the love of God is. You're being formed in it as we speak. I'm sure there will be so many things that you will teach us about our Papa as well. We love you, son. You were wanted from the very beginning. xoxo
