I don't give a...

during john the disciple's time on the isalnd of patmos, the Lord showed him a vision in which we now read as "Revelation". i've heard it said that he, when released from prison, had to be carried on a chair because he was old and frail. as an old man, john traveled from church to church to minister. he had men carry him through the crowds of people on his chair. and then he'd reach out to them, touching them saying,

"little children, little children, love one another"

sometimes that's all he'd say...

"little children, little children, love one another"

john was also the disciple that laid his head on the chest of jesus... he was called the beloved...
he was also the only one that was told to, "come up here and i will show you these things..." (revelation) and given a full blown vision of what's to come.

the more revelation he had, the more simple the message got. it always came down to love.

he could have preached, "little children, little children, jesus is coming, so get your lives together and be holy!!" maybe he could have given a five point message on how to prepare the church for the end times.

but instead.

his message came down to love.

that story has rocked me.

this past week, i personally was wrestling with some things. and after taking them to God, i received breakthrough. all i want is to be a lover. i want the reality of jesus. with my whole heart. i don't want to value the opinion of man above the love of God. when it comes to having to choose whether i will judge or love... screw it. i'm loving. the whole way through. i want to love well and come out of this wilderness leaning on my beloved.

so when someone tells me their opinion on church, politics, people, etc... or when they tell me something so dark and deep that took them forever to say because they felt so much shame... or when someone doesn't do something right... or when i feel out of sorts and i feel my perspective slipping...

i say

(and i don't mean to offend... but i mean it with my WHOLE heart...)

i don't give a shit.

i.just.love.you.

i'm done and i'm done for. my heart has been claimed. i no longer want anything to come inbetween my intimacy with the Lord. or my relationship with people. it's just not worth it to me.

the art of loving well is a life-long journey that i want to take...

i want to be a lover. God, make me a lover.

so.

i love you.

and you.

and you.

yeah.

you.

xo,

Mariya