let's get real, people... Part III

DISCLAIMER: this blog is not for the faint of heart. this may include any single or married persons without children that have very steadfast, control-freaked and/or positive-"jesus-is-on-my-side" mindsets of what childbearing or child rearing will be like.

here we go, at it again! again, if this is your first time reading this blog series and you have not read Parts I or II, i'd encourage you to read those first.

ok, as i've said before, i'm unsure how many more entries to this blog i'll do. i'll probably do them as long as emails keep coming in! which, by the way, has been so AMAZING. it's so awesome to see the support of mothers to other mothers by sharing. i think that every mom can find themselves in some way or another in any one of these stories.

i'll let them speak for themselves....:

Ezra and his beautiful mommy, Roxanne

Life a I knew it was mostly about me now that I look back. I did things on my time. Then, this little sweet bundle came into our lives. I don't think anything could have prepared me for the weight of responsibility, the physical exhaustion, the emotional exhastion, and the overwhelming love that developed for this little fragile life that was completely dependent on me to sustain its life. At times I wanted to cry. Sometimes I did cry. At times I related with the women who shook their babies, although I would not have ever actually done that! But I could see how it came about :) It took about 3 months for me to really realize my old care free life was gone, and my never-a-dull-moment journey into motherhood had just begun! It has been a wild ride so far, and yes I am on my way to doing it again! I don't think it gets easier, but its always changing. The Lord has so used motherhood in my life to show me the most ugliest selfish things in my heart in order to free me of them so I can become a little more like Him. He gives and seeks nothig in return. Now that's some love! So hang in there moms! None of us have it all together :) You are amazing and all are doing an incredible job! If anyone needs a shoulder or an ear I am here :) ~Roxanne Zimmerman

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here is just an excerpt of kasi's blog. provided below is the link to read the whole thing. you should. do it. you know you want to.



Kasi with Isabel and Killian



"Let’s call a spade, a spade. If you tell me about how amazing your life is, I will only think to myself, 'this can only be admirable if you have kids.' Pretty much because that’s where I am in life right now. I don’t have time to fantasize about being a jungle missionary or Hollywood hoebag. I only have time for reality. Anything else is a waste. I could kindof fantasize about things with one child, but two? My head can’t be in the clouds too long. But I can still enjoy life as it happens." ~Kasi McClure

for the rest of this blog go here: http://kasibetty.wordpress.com/2010/05/14/wearing-mom-shoes/ /

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Sophia in NICU

Where to begin… Our daughter was born 7 weeks early, I’ll try to condense my story to just one or two paragraphs, however, you have to understand when you have a premature baby the struggles of motherhood are instantly magnified.

When my daughter was born she was immediately rushed into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) where she was “plugged in” from every limb. I didn’t get to see her until the next day. Listen, I don’t care who you are, when you see a premature baby it’s a little scary. While, to you, this child is still beautiful and definitely a miracle, they are obviously under developed to say the least! Too sensitive to touch, and highly susceptible to germs, tubes and cords coming out of every limb, microscopic in size, …it’s quite an intimidating experience to say the least. Then we were discharged… and when I say “we” I mean they dismissed me WITHOUT my child. It was just my husband and I. Liken it to Christmas morning… The excitement of opening all your gifts and then having to leave them under the tree… Take that emotion, and then multiply it by 100! Your child is truly your most precious gift, and to have to leave her behind was almost unbearable! The two and a half weeks that followed were even more agonizing: traveling back and forth to the hospital 3 times a day, only to be awarded just 30 mins of “feeding” time, no sleep due to worry and anxiety, pumping every two hours day and night, watching the nurse cuddle and love on MY baby, listening to her call her “my Sophie”… oh the emotion! Immediately the internal struggle begins, “NO, She’s MY Sophie!”, “Who is this woman bonding with MY child!?”, “Is she going to love me? Will she be able to bond with ME!”, “No one can take care of my child better than me… right?...?”

Finally we get to take her home. By this time my husband has to go back to work, so I am all alone with my very tiny newborn who is hooked up to a breathing monitor that tends to go off with every movement (talk about nerve wracking) and we’re finally able to begin to bond. I’m trying to breast feed – however, having had to pump so often for so long, caused some heavy injury to my nipples, which meant I had to stop pumping to let them heal. So by the time we were able to try – I had virtually no more milk! After 3 full days and nights of trying to feed, we switched to formula. Talk about an “emotional end” …Immediately I felt like such a failure. “Why am I broken! She hasn’t even been home for a whole week, and already I’ve given up. Am I cut out for this? What’s wrong with me!?…”

Cristin with her very healthy and vibrant Sophia

As it turns out, I am cut out for this! I once read, “A woman is like a bag of tea. You don’t know how strong she is until you put her in hot water!” TRUTH! I’ve discovered strength in myself I never knew was there. More importantly, I’ve become closer to my Heavenly father (out of pure necessity). As time goes on my child continues to grow healthy and strong… WE PULLED THROUGH! Every day presents opportunity for a new struggle… There will always be a chance to fall to your knees in defeat, or a chance to overcome. Keep it in perspective! Life goes beyond you… I think the reason children are such a blessing is because they constantly force us to take a good hard look at ourselves! “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” Prov. 14:1 As the matriarch in your household, will you rise up to be the woman God called you to be… or will you let yourself succumb to defeat? Rise up you women of faith, you mothers of many… your time to shine is now!

"let's get real, people..." beauty can be found in all its up's and down's, in every season and in every turn...

yes. before you ask, yes. there is a Part IV.