my pretty dress

post from january 2, 2010. i took it from my facebook notes and thought i'd transfer it here.

"can you zip me up?"

"wow, you look beautiful! hold on, i'm brushing my teeth, give me a sec"

"whew, it's a little tighter than i remember"

"well, it HAS been two years"

"yeah, but still..."

"well, i think you look great!"

"definitely brings back a lot of memories"

"the best day of my life"

i stood in front of the mirror a while, running my hands over the fabric. he walks in from finishing up in the bathroom, "you still have it on?"

"yeah"

"what are you thinking"

"i feel pretty" i say with a smile.

from there i go throughout the house, still with the dress on, turning off all the lights, closing all the shades, tidying up the living room...

then i'm back in front of the mirror, hands at my side, slightly swaying to see the dress go back and forth, back and forth...

(sigh) "well, that was fun"

i climb out of the dress, placing it gently back in the garment bag and slip into my pj's.

"cmon" he chuckles "let's go to bed"

i love being married :)

little christmas cheer

i LOVE christmas.

some wreaths i made...

 our christmas tree!! eeeee!

 family...

all iphone pics. so. the real christmas (card) pics, coming soon! 

Mom's Night Out

my best friend, jeni davis, is having a little boy, hezekiah, in december. and on the 19th of november, i hosted a little baby shower for her in my home! she gave her input on what she wanted and didn't want. she came up with this FAB idea to call it a "mom's night out", where there was a no-kiddies-allowed policy. she didn't necessarily want to be in the spotlight by opening present after present in front of everyone and do the usual "baby shower games." she just wanted to hang out with her close girlfriends. i thought it was such a great plan! it was something that all of us could totally look forward to! it started at 6pm with a yummo dinner provided by her amazing mama, vicki. there were plenty of snacks and a cupcake bar. i was only able to snap a few pics on my iphone, but wanted to share... when i have the next babe, i may have to steal this idea. everyone who came had so much fun! 

apple cups for the apple cider! so delish!

party favors: baby food jars filled with crushed graham crackers, chocolate chips and mini mallows that you can place in the microwave for instant s'mores! or you can pop a whole bunch of them in the oven at 350 degrees and bake til mallows are gold.

had a cupcake bar! those were divine. we had frosting, whip cream, hot chocolate fudge, caramel sauce, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries and sprinkles! i want to do it again, but next time have more toppings! it was a hit!

the intimate group of beauties that made this night so much fun!

now we can't wait to meet hezekiah! c'mooooooonnnnn, kiah!

gobble gobble

i love winter.

and this really is my back yard.

love it.

every morning:

baby wakes up, we wake up. 

it's just how it goes in the life of a parent. woot.

jay gets up and starts the hot water for our coffee.

of course, he has to wash the french press because, 

even though i had all day, 

i didn't wash it the day before.

oh.

somewhere in the beginning we pee.

so, then we pee... then the whole coffee thing. 

give the babe his bottle in a zombie like manner

(us, not the kid)

and continue to stumble around

mumbling stuff

until we coffee ourselves to life.

in the meantime, we cuddle with abe

who starts chatting away, climbing all over us

as if we think it's the best thing in the world

i mean.

it IS the best thing in the world. 

wait. 

(sips coffee).

ok, now it's the best thing in the world.

every morning starts the same, but every single day is so absolutely different. every day has its surprises, feelings, discoveries, breakthroughs, pain, joys...

i feel so blessed to live this life.

to have the devotion of a beautiful man. 

to be the mommy of a wild and crazy boy.

to know the unrelenting love of God.

and a way to give my love back.

thanksgiving is not a holiday. 

it's a state of being!

today, stir your faith

let hope arise

awaken love

home is where the heart is...

if i told you how many times i rearrange my house and furniture, you'd think i was a crazy person. aaaand maybe i am to some degree. my husband probably thinks i am, anyway. he's usually the one that either has to come home to a tornado of a mess because i'm moving stuff everywhere, or he has to help me. well. he doesn't HAVE to... he knows that i'll totally move stuff around without him. and he just laughs and says, "you're crazy, little one", then takes the other side of a table or chair and helps. he's also my official picture holder ("jay, move it a little to the left.... a liiiiiittttle more. ok, too far... a smidge to you is a mile to me! ok, hold it! perfect!"). aside from just liking my house to look nice, i also want it to be inviting. for who? for you! 

it's not enough for things to be just functional for me. i like things that are thought out, not to merely do what it's basic function is, but to be beautiful, to be safe, to be inspiring, to be comfortable, etc. i don't have a huge budget to work with. most of the things in my house have either been passed down, thrifted or craigslisted (and now, thanks to some facebook mamas, we also have peninsula buy sell trade. have you ever noticed how wacky people can be about the supposed and unspoken facebook ediquette?) and it doesn't bother me one bit. makes it fun and seem like treasure hunting. you may come into my home and not realize the time that i put into arranging it in such a way that would hopefully seem warm and beckoning... i don't know, maybe you do... but in any case, my heart is for people to come in and not only feel the peace of God in our home, but a huge Manalli hug in every space made available to them. no, it's not about the things i have. stuff is just stuff. i'd be lying if i said it'd be the easiest thing in the world to give up my home if i had to, but honestly, it also wouldn't be the hardest by far. so my aim isn't to showcase our possessions. and of course, i never want to assume that i have the best taste in decor either where everyone is like, "omigosh, that mariya knows what she's doing." it's to just simply make you feel WELCOME.

i could go into the whole, "and speaking of feeling welcome, how do you arrange your life and heart to make the Lord feel welcome there?" but. i'm not. i kinda did. just now. but for real. i'm not going to go there. 

one of my dreams has always been to have people in my home.... in the kitchen, in the dining room, on my couch... talking, laughing, crying, praying, worshipping, watch movies etc etc etc, feeling free to be themselves and feeling free in general. can people cry at my dining room table, can people fall asleep on my couch, can people find my cups for a drink of water? do they feel acceptance? do they feel the love my family has for one another by us doing life in these walls?  

part of that dream is fulfilled every week on a thursday when burning ones, our young adult home fellowship, comes over and fills our home and our heart. it's one of the best feelings to know that when God says he can use me, he literally meant he can use all of me, including my home. 

my love languages

in no particular order:


1. coffee
2. sleep
3. quality time


1. coffee
i like it black. i like it strong. i like it... yes, i'm talking about coffee... and i like it served to me in bed. the last part rarely happens (but when it does, i'm a happy girl), but none the less, it is a daily ritual in which i feel no guilt in partaking of. this past year in particular, has made coffee not only a love, but a survival tactic. i'm new to the mom world, earning my badges in late night gas, teething, growing pains, sugar highs, bad dreams and ungodly, gruesome early mornings, so coffee has become a necessity of sorts. lattes? caramel machiatto? chai? white mocha? pppffffff. might as well give me water. but give me a french pressed, dark roast cup of coffee and ZING! i'm alive and loving jesus... 

2. sleep
for very obvious reasons, i love sleep but rarely get any of it... so... see above.

3. quality time
not a gifts girl. i'm horrible at gift giving. and when i get a gift i instantly think, "um. i feel guilty." or, "crap. i forgot to get them one." not a physical touch girl. i like hugs. i like to mean it when i give them. but. don't sit on my lap or let your leg touch mine even though we are all squished on the same couch. ew.
nope. 
i'm a quality time girl.
what does this mean?
well, it means i like to spend quality, face to face time with the most important people in my life.  and for me, personally, i can tend to feel overwhelmed if i have too many meetings or friend visits or activities/church events lined up. because... i also like quality time to MYSELF. and i really like my time with my jesus. i'm emotionally at my best when i limit my activities and my social times. if i don't, i tend to feel spent. a revolving door of people and activities cannot fill my love tank like a nice night at home with just my family can. if i don't answer my phone, it very well may be that i'm busy (because a lot of the time i am), or... and please don't take offense... i'm busy just being not busy. jason and i sit down and talk about our priorities and where our hearts are at all the time just to stay the course to keep the first things first. but i think what i'm going to add on is, not just a list of things i'm going to do, but a list of things i'm not going to do. and i'm going to be really good at saying, "no." i'm learning more and more how to do this thing called life. and saying no doesn't mean i'm saying no to anyone personally... it means i'm mostly guarding my most heartfelt "yes" to all the things and people that i feel i need to make time for and am called to. 

what is your love language?


xoxo, m

break.through

it has been...

almost a year since i've written a complete song. 

that is a long time....

a loooonnnnnggggg time.

several things have attributed to that. there were so many changes in this last year that were not only hard, but some were painful. not all. but some. that, and continually finding the balance between abraham and all my eternal projects was getting tricky. so songwriting went on the back burner.

but last night, abraham had applesauce. no big. unless your kid doesn't really have sugar! that little punk was so hyper until midnight. half desperate, half brain-fried, i hopped onto the keys and started dinking around. that must have been the potion to put things in motion (cheese sauce) cuz i kicked out a little diddy. i've been wanting to write a song for abe, but didn't seem to have the time or energy. i figured it'd come when it came and i didn't want to force it, or it'd sound really bad. which, i must confess, i did try twice. and it sounded really bad. 

but i think i might have uncorked the flow. and i'm glad that the song that came first was a song for my son. he's worth it, i think. 

ABRAHAM’S LULLABY

it's time to go to sleep my darling

it's time to go to bed

it's time to go to sleep my darling

it's time to go to bed

rest little boy

dreams will find you

even heroes need

to have their sleep too

find your way to that world

where your heart is

there you will be free to fly

so goodnight my love

until morning breaks

see your adventure

in a different place

cleaning up

it's been since last christmas season that i've entered anything. and now i'm revisiting my blog again, cleaning it up a bit and excited about the opportunity to pen (er, type) again because i actually have the internet at my house now!! yi boi. my blog started off really focused on me being a new mommy. but i want to broaden the subject content a little this time around. this summer i was heavily considering titling my blog "the god-awful truth" consisting of spillage from my mind and heart. but i dealt with a lot of hurt and pain this past season and now looking back, i'm glad that i didn't have time or the resources to blog. a lot of what was coming out of me wasn't healthy because i wasn't necessarily in a healthy place. and the last thing someone needs when in the place i was in is to tell the whole world about it. haha! God is continually bringing me through that season of change, release and healing. and now, where i am, i feel like this is a good time to open up. "i just want to love you" seemed like the most appropriate title to have, as it is the desire of my heart towards my God and people that i come in contact with. i may not be the best at it, but i do want my life to reflect that. so, with that i'd like begin my whole new journey in blogging (again) to start with, "My God is sooooooooo good...."
til next time

xoxo