i'm a warrior!!

I'M A WARRIOR!! 

i have this thing. it's that if i say something enough, i think that abe will believe it. so i tell him everyday that: i love him, daddy loves him, jesus loves him. he's awesome. he's funny. he's cool. he's blessed. he's brave. he's strong.

abe engages himself in an unseen war every day. he gets out his guns and chases "monsters" and shoots them. he rolls on the floor, gets up quick, jumps from couch to couch, shoots and then says victoriously, "i got him!!" to which i reply, "you're awesome, abe!!" then he does it all over again.

most evenings, he will be so full of energy before bed (it's the hype before the crash) and so jason and/or i will play a high energy game of abe's choice like chase, wrestling, or shooting his guns. when he shoots his guns, he's "the warrior." we've taught him to thrust his fist into the air and declare, "I'M A WARRIOR!!" he knows warriors are brave and strong. and they are awesome. and that he's one.

one of the things this warrior does is, when he points and shoots someone (either jason or myself), he completely blasts them to oblivion. it's all out boy play where he sets out to conquer!! the warrior usually hits his target every time! i mean, c'mon! the warrior is strong and brave! he celebrates and then he comes over, grabs our hand and says, "THANK YOU, JESUS!! AMEN!" and raises us from the dead... teaching him that Jesus has the power to raise people from the dead when we pray.

i think... no, i know... that abe believes he's a warrior. when steve carrier, minister and strong man, came to our church, abe was in awe. steve broke bricks with his arms and ripped big phone books. abe stared, wide-eyed... and i turned to him and said in his ear, "abe. he's a warrior. just. like. you." you know what abe said?

"yeah. just like me... just like abraham."

i don't really care at the moment if abraham knows how to or even wants to pray before he eats his food. most days he can't be bothered. i don't care if he doesn't participate in singing "this little light of mine" with the sunday school class. most times he stands there with his arms folded. i don't care what he DOES. i want him to know who he IS.

in this day and age i'm told that guns aren't cool. that i must step in every time there is a slight confrontation of sorts with my son and his playmate to avoid any pain and harm. i'm told that my kid should know his numbers, abc's, colors at a certain age. i'm told that if he can do puzzles, he's a genius. if he acts out, he has a disability. we are completely bombarded with all these new parenting tips that make us and our child socially acceptable, politically correct and, most of all, make it "comfortable" for people to be around him or her. and we get caught up in the craze every once in awhile. we feel credited with every, "what a well mannered child. so well behaved." and so completely down trodden by every, "oohhh, why does he/she do that? you know i've read that leads to (_fill in the blank_)."

how the heck do i tell my son that he's destined to be strong, courageous, loving, LOUD when he needs to be... soft when he wants to be? how am i supposed to teach him to embrace that wild side when society is telling me it's unacceptable, even at an innocent age of three when life and death does not look like what it looks like to an adult? how am i to teach him to be a protector and a fighter when i'm constantly supposed to get him to somehow avoid EVERY confrontation possible?

fear, shame and guilt will always be there to try to bring abe down, make him forget who he is, try to steal his joy, try to make him insecure, demand that he start to perform... i want him to know how to rise up in those moments and allow who he is to step forward.

sometimes we can get so caught up on what everyone is DOING, what we are DOING or what we are not DOING. we're so backed up with information that robs us of the opportunity to simply come as we are and grow. we forget who we are, who we're meant to really be... it really isn't something we turn into. it's something we RETURN to. when jesus comes into our lives, we come into sonship. we are kings and priests. rulers and servants. sons and daughters. lovers and warriors.

who ARE you? separate the truth from the lie.

give insecurity, performance, guilt and shame the middle finger by declaring the word of God over your life. over your children's lives. over your family's lives. and if you are a parent visiting with another parent, pray for one another. speak a blessing over people and their kids.

to start off, maybe stand in front of the mirror. look at yourself and say, "i. am. loved."

and then, for kicks and giggles, pump your fist in the air and say,

"i'm a warrior!!"