yeah. hey! here I am! I'm not so good at this blog thing. it's like all the other projects in my life... incomplete. unless there's like only two steps to getting things done, I'm usually having a hard time with follow through. everything has been taking a back seat to being with my two handsome men. last blog post was during the Christmas holiday I think. lots has happened since then. like lots. and I'm not about to unpack it all now. no. I'm just saying hi. I'm still here. and I'm, well... I'm still a mess. emotionally, physically, depending on the day we can argue mentally, spiritually, yes all of the above. a mess. but I'm still kind of figuring that I'm ok with being messy because despite, there's still a reach in me. there's still a "yes" and a space in my heart that's still tender, ooey-gooey and completely fascinated with the brilliance of Jesus.
everything is a process. everything is day to day. everything is an unfolding of beauty. and also, everything gets more and more funny as I learn to let go of the details and just sit back and learn to enjoy the moment. my mantra lately has been "press into rest". it's been working! most days. some days I have to say that like five... million times in a row to myself... as I tend to be forgetful. press into rest looks something like this: I purpose myself to connect to the heart of jesus. starting with thanksgiving... and then his heart for me, his thoughts towards me... then it turns into an all day long conversation of my thoughts towards him after receiving his thoughts towards me. it's staying in the moment with my son. staying in the moment with my husband. staying in the moment of what's happening in front of me or around me. allowing all five senses to awaken. feeling the wind in my hair, seeing the details of my husbands face, hearing my son tell me his stories, smelling summer, savoring the taste of... whatever. you get the point.
AND. after reading some past posts, I have come to realize something. I am NOT a writer. seriously. some posts are so embarrassing or cheesy or a myriad of other things. so what. I'm not a writer. ok. well... I'm a SHARER. I love sharing my life with others and love hearing/reading/seeing about others lives. so that's why I do this. as an outlet, a way to process, a way to let some of [you] in on what that process looks like. at least every 6 months or so. haha!
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