i just want to love you: One month down!

Abe made one month yesterday... yay! He's still alive! Obviously we're doing something right...

Ok, that just sounded wrong. But being new parents, holy moly, sometimes you wonder if you're doing things right and if his needs are being met, "What's that cry mean?!"

Is he:

hurt?

lonely?

dirty diaper?

hungry?

does he think my breath stinks

every time I try to talk to him?

gah!

which is it?!

This has been the most emotional and wonderful month of my life. It's been a new discovery of self, my husband, of course Abe and... the Lord. All take on a new meaning on this journey.

*pause*

(Baberaham needs attention)

......

Ok, I'm back. Where was I? Sleep deprevation will make you forgetful... not to mention emotional... cranky... zombie-like. Oh yeah! New journey. Yeah, everything is different. Life is a little less predictable and I can't help but prioritize now. Abe gives me no choice. He comes first. Alright, alright, for those wondering, obviously GOD comes first... la la la. Anyways, you know what I mean, right? Example. This past Wednesday was my first Wednesday back to church, where I am also staffed. I had to leave the class I was attending towards the end because little man needed his mama ("miiiillllkkk!!!"). I sat there nursing him and for a moment I had this feeling of displacement. Where do I belong? I used to do all the things everyone around me is doing, but I feel out of the loop! Worship was/is my area of "ministry" at the church (I'm the worship leader for those that might be reading this and don't know me), but someone else was teaching that class. For a minute I was dealing with this inner struggle... and then the Lord came rushing into my heart and said, "Abraham is your ministry, Mariya..."

Um, yeah!

What was I thinking?

I looked down at that beautiful face and even MORE love flooded my already overflowing heart for him! Holy cheese! How can you love someone so little and so new sooo much?! Amazing...

Anyways, we are loving our little Hammy.

He's the best.

No really.

He is.

Couple things I am learning as a new mama:

Stay calm. He will be fine!

Keep organized. Otherwise you'll forget where you put EVERYTHING.

Allow room for mistakes. Who said you were the guru of mommyhood??

Rest. Nap when he naps!

Don't forget the hubs. He needs love and attention too!

Allow others to help you out.

and

Don't wear that shirt unless you're totally ok with it being demolished by spit up.

oh, another "and"

(most important)

Trust the Lord. He's good at parenting also.

*sigh*

Honestly, life could not be more beautiful right now. Of course, it has it's moments. Or maybe I should say I have my moments. But it's all a continual mesh of going deeper into the heart of God.

yeah.

totally.

Remember to always stay tender.

I'm one month, suckas!