birthdays generally are not toooo big of a deal for me. definitely like it to be acknowledged, but that could look like friends and family sending me a text saying happy birthday. really. that's all it takes to make me happy. my parents were awesome about throwing birthday parties when i was younger. so it's not like i grew up not having birthday parties. it's more so turned into a time of reflecting for me. i'm good with a small family dinner most years.
but this year, being my 30th, felt like partying.
::THE PARTY::
when planning a party, there are obviously a lot of ideas: prom theme, cupcake bars, wine night, bon fire, home party, dinner, destination (cruise, vaca, girl trip)... but september is a busy month for us. i mean SLAMMIN'. it's a super busy month full of: family birthdays and anniversaries. and doing a full blown theme party that i'd have to put a lot of thought into seemed like a TON of work that i didn't have the energy or time for. so! i decided to do what came most naturally: dinner party!
it was so FUN! i ironically had about 30 people there. see what i did there? actually i didn't notice that til now.
the first pic is where we placed my birthday PIES. mmmm, num. i even had a wheat free, corn free pie made especially for me! apple pies all around!
the second pic is of the place before everyone came. all that's missing is the food on the table (zucchini and pasta lasagna, salads, bread... all made by the wonderful harmony bolden) and all the gorgeous people that shared the night with me. :)
also had a young man by the name of conway seavey for the music entertainment! he was AWESOME! the amazing kelsie remsen (dream designs) decorated the whole place! it was vintage, rustic themed. wanted it to have a family feel and for the table to feel like a big endless farm table with assorted chairs. she did an excellent job.
the night was so fun. and i felt as if this year's present to myself was to have all the people that i love the most (minus my faumui's. spread out in kodiak and redding) at the table, laughing, talking and eating together. all of our kids were running around, good food and music... ahhh! if it wasn't so much work, i'd do it every year!
my darling husband made a heart felt toast that made my heart burst in my chest. seriously. i'm married to the most beautiful soul. very tender man with an endless amount of patience and love for me and our son.
::HEART//THOUGHTS::
like i said, i've been looking forward to turning 30. just seemed like a good age. not too young, not too old... still can hang with the young people, but taken seriously with the older, haha! just the way i think i guess. or maybe it's like being able to sit at the kids table AND the adult table.
and this may sound strange but i'm SO GLAD to be out of my 20's. it was a good decade, but it's almost like the junior high of adulthood. i felt like i was the pimply faced girl with no hips (who am i kidding. i still don't have any. i'm shaped like a boy) a weird haircut, constantly figuring out what it is that i actually think and love, all while trying to be comfortable in my own skin. and let's be honest, i wasn't one of those WILD and CRAZY 20 year olds who went out and danced on tables. i've always been somewhat of an old soul which can, to some, translate as boring. (just kidding. i'm not boring. i'm awesome.) and don't get me wrong, i'm still figuring out who i am. and it's clear now, that i'm going to continuously change my mind on many things that i felt i've made my mind up on. i even looked back at old journal entry's from about 6 years ago and think, "that's what i thought about God?! so odd..."
i feel rejuvenated. i think the biggest thing is i feel: unafraid.
i'm not afraid of vulnerability. i'm not afraid of messes. i'm not afraid of real relationships. i'm not afraid of getting hurt. i'm not afraid of where we will go or how we will be taken care of. i'm not afraid of trying something new. i'm not afraid of not knowing what i'm doing and what it may look like. i trust the Lord. i trust him. i trust his love for me, for my family and for those around me i care about.
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| Left is a pic from my early 20's and me now |
not that i have all the experience of one being in there 30's (hello.) but if i could talk to my younger 20'ish self looking towards 30's SOME of the things i'd want to tell her is, "Mariya, you're going to be alright. learn to love yourself, learn to not take yourself seriously... be vulnerable. it's ok to let people see that you don't have everything together. be willing to learn! practice saying, 'i don't know. can you please teach me?' and in the future, you won't think it's cool to back comb your hair as much. loosen up! and just have FUN. you're going to learn how to draw boundaries. you'll keep making mistakes in that area, but family is always first. you are opinionated. and you burn passionately about things you care about. you ARE a non-conformist, but the bridge to being heard on the things that you burn for is relationship. it's no fun to be 'right' (ha.ha.ha.) but no one to go with you. so always care FIRST for these relationships. love God, love people. love God, love people. you will be tested in this over and over. but still: love God, love people. it'll still be just as cool to love disneyland and you will only grow to be even more dorky. (embrace your inner dork!)."
and to really tie in the 30 "flirty" and thriving title... i am the WORST flirter. so i'm not even sure what that means. oh well. but it rhymed. but thriving?
hell yes i am
:)
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